Includes bibliographical references (pages 319-324).

Introduction : love alone is not enough -- The simple secret to a better marriage -- To communicate, decipher the code -- Why she won't respect,why he won't love -- What men fear most can keep the crazy cycle spinning -- She fears being a doormat;He's tired of "just not getting it" -- She worries about being a hypocrite;He complains, "I get no respect!" -- She thinks she can't forgive him;He says, "Nobody can love that woman!" -- C-o-u-p-l-e : how to spell love to your wife -- Closeness-she wants you to be close -- Openness-she wants you to open up to her -- Understanding-don't try to "fix her";just listen -- Peacemaking-she wants you to say, "I'm sorry" -- Loyalty-she needs to know you're committed -- Esteem-she wants you to honor and cherish her -- C-h-a-i-r-s : how to spell respect to your husband -- Conquest-appreciate his desire to work and achieve -- Hierarchy-appreciate his desire to protect and provide -- Authority-appreciate his desire to serve and to lead -- Insight-appreciate his desire to analyze and counsel -- Relationship-appreciate his desire for shoulder-to-shoulder friendship -- Sexuality-appreciate his desire for sexual intimacy -- The energizing cycle will work if you do -- Part III: The rewarded cycle -- The real reason to love and respect -- The truth can make you free, indeed -- Conclusion: pink and blue can make God's purple.